No matter how much I hated humanity, I always had a little bit of faith in it. It was a hard pill to swallow, but I have finally accepted the fact that the world is BATSHIT FKN CRAZY and there's absolutely no point in expecting it to be anything more than that.
For the first time in a long time I feel like I can focus on myself instead of others. The world can burn for all I care. I’m too exhausted to care anymore. Life is too short for that shit. Time to get my priorities straight
I know lots of different people who kept telling me to stop caring about the world, and I always criticized them for being apathetic, but I guess it was only a matter of time until I got desensitized like them. I wonder how long this will last
October 26, 2017. I can think of multiple people who I haven't seen since that day. I mean, I never really expected to see those people again, but now that it has been half a decade already, I'm pretty confident that I'll never ever see them again. It's crazy how some people you were once close with are people that you'll never see in a centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion centillion years. That's a loooooooooooong time, y'know? But it's still 0.0000000000000000000000% of the infinite time that will pass without you seeing them. I don't know why I'm saying all this stuff. I guess that by writing this I'm just trying to distract myself from other things
October 24, 2017. One of my saddest days, but my sadness at the time stemmed from the most stupid bullshit. My life back then was fucking fantastic, I really can't fucking believe I didn't appreciate it. But that's easy for me to say now that I look back from 5 years later. If only I knew what I had back then. If only I had the slightest idea.
I remember checking out this music video on that day, a week after its release:
It wasn't a relatable song for me back then, but I'll always view it as the "soundtrack" to that specific day. I'll also never forget how much shittier I felt when I saw Joji portrayed as this super sad person in the music video, after all those years of me being cheered up by his "Filthy Frank" videos. Such a shitty fucking day, dude.